Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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