I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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