ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
