I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
