i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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