3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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