I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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