All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
