I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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