i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
