No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
