fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
