just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
