hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
