i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
