flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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