so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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