Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
