So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
