I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
