Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
