you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
