1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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