I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
