It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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