She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
