Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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