I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
