you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
