I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
