He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How does one acquire holy water?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
