Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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