I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
