her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
