I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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