They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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