NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
