I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
