his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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