He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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