This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
