chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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