I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
