Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
