Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
being pregnant is like rehab
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
