I need help removing her.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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