I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
