I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
