So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You are a genius and a whore.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
