Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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